What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
