Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
