Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
