Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
