Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
