Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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