Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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