Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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