I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
