how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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