so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
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So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
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