So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
