I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
