I got chris browned last night
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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