jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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