I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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