so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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