I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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