Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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