ugly people sure do ruin things
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
