How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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