I think im going to throw up on grandma
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
