Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
