What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
