Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
