I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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