Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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