How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Hippo gnu deer
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
