I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
