Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
