He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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