i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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