NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
