I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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