i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
