He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
