if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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