i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
