I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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