hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think your dad took our porno
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
