Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize