I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
