it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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