Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize