There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
