Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wish i was in the wii world.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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