in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
