Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
