Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
