She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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