I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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