so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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