is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize