she takes plan B like it's going out of style
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
