Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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