sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Two words: blizzard sex
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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